Noodle shoved a weeks worth of nasty-grams under his arm as he juggled his keys and cell phone. He had walked along side a fat dude, past the post-office substation in order to duck Margie and her nags. Margret had passed her U.S. Postal Service examine because she enjoyed order. She placed letter in each box, except for the one that was perpetually over-filled. Everyday, she waited. Even as she sold stamps, one eye patrolled the sidewalk outside. She didn’t even excuse herself, when she caught the cellphone behind the overweight gentleman. Darting out the door, as fast as her thick thighs would allow, she missed the slippery sack of unorganized sloppiness.
So she screamed,”Noodle, I’m going to tell your mother!”
Noodle turned on his heals. His mother thought he was best-est boy ever and he didn’t want the truth getting in the way of that lovely lie. This was why he stood at his door with more than he could handle. The nastiness from Alaska Communication Services was in there, he could feel it’s heat; so he dropped it on his table next to the other unopened envelopes. They hadn’t turned off his cell phone yet, so he was good. With one hand free he checked his answering machine, listening to the old ones, he walked to the fridge.
The first new one was his cousin Little Brother. “Hey Cuz ” Noodle turned his whole focus on the cheese in front of him. The answering machine tape squealed on with Little Brothers voice as Noodle sliced a hunk of cheddar. Noodle got out an onion sliced it, and mayo-ed two pieces of bread, while Little Brother’s voice still stank up his space.
Noodle flipped off his sneaker and was about to chuck it at the answering machine but a soft voice began a new message.
“Hello Noodle”, She was a female. Noodle put down his sandwich.
“I’m with Notes from Nowhere and I would like to do a Character interview with you….”
The shoe made contact with the machine at the precise angle necessary to knock it off of the table.
Peace at last.